Sunday, March 13, 2011

De minimis non curat lex*

I am surprised and pleased that people I don’t know read my blog. I don’t know who reads it but I do get a tally of how many people and where in the world they are from! I wish I could say hello in Russian. I have Russian visitors. That may be a federal offence in America. I would go on one of those translation sites but I did that once when I was a teacher for a Portuguese student who spoke little English. The history topic was the murky world of London in the 19th Century and Jack the Ripper. Great for 13 year olds! A dangerous topic to trust to a translation site.  I put all the information for the lesson – the murder of Polly Nichols- into a translation site and felt chuffed when I gave him the work in Portuguese. The array of emotions that crossed his face that day made me vow never to try and translate stuff on the internet again. The overriding emotion when his fear had subsided was hilarity. He spent most of the lesson tittering! I dread to think what I had given him to read!
I thought I was incredibly popular til I realized it was my visits to my own blog clocking up! I always get worried when I get visitors from the US (that are not me) in case it is my neigbours.  Given I may cause offence I feel that I need to protect myself against any possible libel, litigation or lawsuit that may result from the opinions I express. This is after all America and home of the Stella Awards:

 "Stella Awards."  For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's in New Mexico, where she purchased coffee.  She took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving.  Who would ever think one could get burned doing that?  That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S.  

While the Stella Awards are real    there are many bogus stories It turns out the extract above is included in the real and bogus categories. I researched this and some of the details from the real Stella case were changed for comic effect I guess. For example, she wasn’t driving when it happened (her grandson was!). So – bogus in the way that my blog is bogus – some bits out of sequence or exaggerated for effect (but all true… unless you plan to sue me then none of it is) So Stella really did sue MacDonald’s for $millions for spilling hot coffee between her legs – coffee served at the recommended temperature! Only in America! The bogus stories are funny. The real ones are even more unbelievable and a sad indictment on America!
So, to protect myself I am going to put a few policy documents on my blog. Having bought a ‘write your own will’ pack once, I feel qualified to write my own policy (mostly):


Disclaimer and Disclosure Policy
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Obviously if you have already read this you have already accessed the site and are bound to me forever more! Muuuhahahahaha
Now I am scared to read my own blog! Don’t worry – you don’t have to sign anything!

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Don’t try any of this at home, or on the recommendation/advice of others, don't try this in Virginia

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It wasn’t me, I didn’t do it! It is BOGUS! …Have you met my friend Stella?

To avoid any dangerous exposure to translation sites the translation for the title is:
 *The law does not concern itself with trifles
I don’t know what the Latin for ‘with the exception of America and then trifles are big business’ is!


P.S. My special thanks to a friend who alerted me to the madness of the Stella Awards and other such gems.

I am always grateful to people who comment on my blog. Please feel free to make suggestions for future blogs and I will do my best to find out about topics 'state side'!

14 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness!!! My husband is now looking at me like I have three heads. You didn't mention mutations from entering and reading. I think I have a case!!!! lol Keep posting :D

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  2. I just came over from L.A.C.E.'s blog. Beautiful blog you have here! I am a new follower and I'd love it if you came over and followed me too. :)

    http://www.twinsplusone.com

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  3. mmmmmmmmm.......Stella Trifle......lovely!

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  4. Brilliant. I should say one of your best!

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  5. There are some dangerous trifles out there - Beware!

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  6. I'm sure there is a story about someone trying to get off a drink-driving charge because of sherry in a trifle - In ht euk so no sucessful Stella Award!

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  7. What was that last bit there? lol, Have you been at the trifle?

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  8. OMG! LOL! I checked it as well! I think I feel a law suit coming on! Not enough caffine in Americanised english breakfast tea! Maybe I need to drink some MacDonnald's coffee to go!

    Corrections:
    *successful
    *in the UK

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  9. Yep, definately a trip to Hicksville lawyers 4 U in order. I reckon trade description litigation for starters.
    " do you realise I am trying to entertain the folks back home and you've not got the decency to make PROPER TEA like what we drink in back in blighty" lol

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  10. I confess to taking my own tea bags out with me to coffee shops and asking for hot water and milk! I wonder if I can sue for spilling something when it is my own teabag?
    They might counter sue if I use the word 'entertainment'!! Lol!
    Just run out of the PG Tips I smuggled in at Christmas. Time to go home for a fix!

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  11. Don't worry about teabags. I already have two big boxes waiting for you !!So you can smuggle them in and i will bring more two weeks later.

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  12. Sounds like the Cary tea party is brewing. Watch out for marauding locals trying to chuck it all in the lake

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  13. OK were do I sign?
    I need to keep reading your blogs....
    Oh I need to pay in kind, sorry no money :-)

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  14. Jase - You can sign up for free -you have already paid 'in kindness'!

    Sean - I'm not letting those teabaggers get hold of my teabags!

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