Saturday, March 5, 2011

I'm a Blogger Mentalist!

Not a normal blog!
When I first posted a blog my friend was horrified. ‘Oh my God!’ she said, ‘You have joined those blogging mentalists!’ I took this to mean I had joined a sad community of people who write crap that nobody reads because everyone has a secret desire to write a book but most cant or don't! I didn’t feel I had ‘joined them’! I was different! I have blogged in complete isolation for 5 months, not reading any other blogs (with the exception of jezblog - a photo blog of an old school friend who lives in the states). That changed this week when I was visited by fellow bloggers on my blog. I thought I would venture out into blogging cyber space! I have now entered the mentalist world of bloggers and it is full of talented people writing all sorts of interesting things for all sorts of reasons. I read Grumpy old Ken and My Glass House and liked their monthly round up. I thought I should try that each month! Then I reflected on the reason I don’t do much personal stuff – it would read:
January: Homesick, Cried a lot. Drank a little. Lonely, I wondered what to do every day. Daughter still being bullied. Wrote some funny blogs with a couple of weird ones thrown in!
February: Homesick, cried a little less and drank a lot more. Hubby away for most of February. Alone, I wondered what I was doing here every day with the exception of 4 glorious days skiing. Daughter failed maths exam. Is that connected to bullying? Wrote some weird blogs with a couple of funny ones thrown in!
March: Have no home…Sick because I drank too much while hubby was away…again…blah blah blah
Instead, maybe I could do a summary of the blogs of each month so readers could select ones they had missed based on an amusing little excerpts...like a little cheeky blog menu of the month!
Reading other blogs last night I was depressed to find I am not the only expat with strong views of American living. Ex-Pat Mum had turned her blog into a book called ‘Rules, Britannia’ advising Americans who find themselves in England! Maybe I should do the reverse to warn Brits coming to America and call it ‘Only in America’! You can tell the most ridiculous story and if you add those words it is accepted as the absolute truth.
When I first got to the states I had a kind of honeymoon period where it felt like I was on holiday and I didn’t feel I needed to do anything. When that wore thin and homesickness hit, I blogged! I love that I feel more connected with people in the UK. I love receiving comments on Face book and the blog but  like the man in an article I read in Time Magazine who left his very busy career to be a stay at home dad I have ‘developed a kind of information-anxiety disorder, compulsively checking and sending e-mail, reading news headlines, tinkering with my blog…’ I could have written that. I wish I had! He was being paid to write his article whereas I am going mad for free!
When I worked full time I was obsessive – My children were orphaned, my husband widowed and I was a slave to my own self imposed pursuit of perfection which could not be achieved – I worked in a school in Special Measures! However hard I worked – it wasn’t enough but I always had a sense of purpose! Even when I wasn’t working, my mind was on work. I have now virtually recreated the stresses of work without working. The problem is, being a ‘homemaker’ isn’t enough for me. I don’t seem to get anything done. They say if you want something doing, give it to a busy person! I need a sense of purpose and my blog goes some way to doing that. I also need a sense of accomplishment which, just like when I was working, I find I am sadly lacking! I feel bratty! I should embrace this new life but I don’t like it. I don’t want the old one back but I haven't found enough in the new one either!
I even question me writing a blog because I feel like I lie as a consequence to so many people. I went out with my Halifax friend for lunch and she introduced me to two of her friends –another Brit and a Mexican. They were lovely and listened patiently to my homesick moans and exasperation at living in this strange place. (They were probably thinking ‘Stop whining and enjoy the sunshine!’) They have been here a while and had been through it. They suggested I write a blog! I wanted to say – I do – You should read it! But what if it offends? I guess it is designed to! Should I liven things up a little and just come out with it and declare myself a blogger? One of those mentalist bloggers!


Please feel free to comment!

PS. 15th March 2010
Days after writing this blog I received a 'Stylish Blogger Award' from My Glass House. I was very touched. There were rules attached.
1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded this to you.
2. Share 7 things about yourself
3. Award blogs you have recently discovered. (the original rules give the number 15) 4. Contact these bloggers and let them know about the award

5. For the people who have received the Award, all you have to do is copy and paste the picture.
I cant share anything about myself because I am incognito!
I don't read many blogs at all and the ones I have looked at I already mention above! I gladly award these blogs the 'Stylish blogger' Award... My Glass House already has this award, Grumpy old Ken has loads, Expat Mom has a book and Jezblog is just way too cool and stylish!

5 comments:

  1. It is a good idea about a book for poor brits going to America. If anyone can do it, you can.You don't want your old life back, all that stress you can do without.If not a book something will come along to fulfil your needs. Just wait and see.

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  2. Come to Gambia with me...you may look forward to getting back?!?!

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  3. You should write a blog about Gambia! I'm sure there will be loads to tell! How fantastic!
    Ann - I'm as stressed doing nothing as I was doing a full time job!x

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  4. Please don’t stop blogging, I enjoy reading everyone! I don’t read anyone else’s. I like the idea of a monthly summary, another part for you an us to have a laugh with. As for writing a book you must be halfway there with writing blogs or would u choose a different subject?
    As for your old place of work, ur right u would not want to be here right now! We are about to compress school into existing buildings minus admin, music and half of the gym block. Starts very soon.
    As for others reading ur blogs, will it offend? U might just find they agree with more than u think. Either way its ur opinion, not there’s.

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  5. Thanks Jase - as always you are there to make me feel better when I feel down!
    Hope the new build isn't too traumatic!

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