I don't plan my blogs, they come to me - like a visitation - a voice in my head and I have to write them to get the words out of my head! If I don't write it down it annoys me until the words and ideas lose meaning and I forget what it was I was going to write but am left with a need to try to remember. Yes - I am sure there is a clear medical diagnosis for my condition and I could be cured with a shit load of tablets... in America (did you know the average American is on 9 prescription drugs???). For now I find the best solution is to sit and blog!
I have been in England almost a week with no such blog visitations. I get up to three a day in North Carolina! I had to contrive a poem about the flight when I got here so I could post something. I decided my blogger's block was because I was no longer a stranger in a strange land. That changed this morning when I felt a blog coming on - whilst frying bacon! It occurred to me that I have yearned for so many things over the last six months that I couldn't get and now I can have them they don't hold the same attraction. It is probably a good job, the bottle of Ribena I got was guzzled by my nieces and the bottle of Faustino Rioja, by my sister! I didn't read a single page of the Sunday Times I WALKED to the newsagent to buy. .. and the bacon I was desperate to eat -was thicker than I remembered and I burned it whilst I purged myself of this blog! To top it all there was no tomato ketchup. That wouldn't happen in America! The glorious breakfast butty dream I had kept going for 6 months was shattered at the eleventh hour!
I was warned that I wouldn't quite fit in when I came home. Well for a start I haven't got a home here anymore but my sister has been the perfect hostess. We have completely invaded her space. She has entertained our friends and has also been an excellent taxi service as I have no car here either (she did draw the line at doing my washing though so my Mom has been a star there!). She is not the only one who has put me up and/or ferried me about and fed me and my children. My daughter had such a lovely time seeing her old school friends at their Christmas party. I have loved seeing my friends and family and the only downside is I haven't had enough time to spend with those people. I have loved the traffic, the grey sky and the supermarkets filled with amazing choice and variety for Christmas. I have made flying visits everywhere, consuming far too much alcohol, as I was reminded is the way with the British. We don't normally need an excuse to drink but add the Christmas festivities and seeing friends I haven't seen for 6 months and it is a recipe for pickled liver! I have had such a great time!
I may be a guest here but if I am strange here it is because I always was and if it is a strange land it is because it always was! I cant blog about it because it is all completely normal to me and it is so good to feel normal after feeling so strange for the past six months. I return to North Carolina next week. I suspect those hot tears I felt when I left in June will return, feeling hotter cause I'm leaving on a jet plane! This time I haven't got the sense of excitement and adventure that I had when I didn't know what it would be like. Equally, I haven't got that fear and trepidation I felt the first time. Either way I expect it wont be very long after landing in that strange land that I'll be missing Ribena and feeling a blog coming on!