Thursday, February 10, 2011

Lord wont you buy me ...

Lord wont you buy me a Mecedes benz?
my friends all have Porches
I must make amends...

I’m not sure I am going to get much sympathy for this blog but a problem shared… If I share it with lots of people does it get halved or divided up amongst all of you? I hope so - then I'd feel loads better and you would only feel a tiny bit worse!
I had a bit of a trauma today. I tried to open the boot (sorry trunk) of my car and it wouldn’t open. I pressed the unlock button again and tugged on the handle. I then realised it wasn’t my car. In the land of the free where there is so much choice, everyone chooses the same thing! There were identical cars all over the place. It is another of my Ground hog experiences. I park in a row of shops (they call them strip malls) and then later I forget where I have parked and have to press lock on my key. Eventually I get close enough to the correct car for the car to honk! It doesn’t like you locking it twice and tells you so. I like to think it is saying ‘bye’ when I lock it and leave! It is more likely saying ‘F**K you too!’ if it knows what I think of it!
Another thing that caused me pain when I left England was having to sell my car as well as my house. I loved my car. If it had honked at me for locking it twice I would have done it all the time – Like saying – 'Yeah! That’s MY car'. It was a pretty, shiny, blue CLK. After my first old banger which I got with a student loan, I have always had a brand new car and never kept it for more than 3 years. I progressed to a sports car when I suggested we have a baby. Hubby part ex-ed my hatchback for an MGF within a week of the suggestion. You can’t fit a baby in one of those. I later tried to upgrade and gave him the choice – baby or Audi TT. Baby won. The TT would have been a lot cheaper! Still the baby came in handy for a later upgrade. I managed to get my first Mercedes after watching Top Gear. They showed crash test results. My Freelander was bottom and Mercedes C Class was top! A baby needs a Mercedes and Mommy didn’t rest ‘til she got one!
We discussed what car I would have when I got to America. Hindsight is a wonderful thing! I thought I needed a big car – to taxi my visitors from England around. Given that they are few and far between I don’t think that should have been the dominating factor in selecting a car. I was thinking – a nice M Class or a Volvo XC90. (pretty small by SUV standards here). Although expensive by American prices they are loads cheaper here than in the UK. What I had not considered was that we had no credit rating here. No one would lease us a car and we didn’t want to use our cash (never a good idea and leasing guarantees me a new one after 3 years!).
Hubby gets a company car – not a usual perk here. There wasn’t much to choose from and he settled for a Buick Lacrosse (no I never heard of one either). Hubby drools over Mustangs and Dodge Challengers. They were not on the company car list. He tried to get an allowance so he could pick one of those instead but the company wouldn’t let him! Bastards! I must admit they look very ‘rock and roll’. We couldn’t have had one for my car even if I had agreed – they wouldn’t consider us for a car lease! To satisfy his desire, hubby’s agreed to drive along the Californian coast this summer from Los Angeles to San Francisco, only if I hire a Challenger for the trip. Mmmmm Let me consider if that is an acceptable condition to place on me…. Yep! I’ll live with that! I wonder if he’ll let me play heavy rock loudly?!
So, here’s where I want the sympathy. In the end only one dealer would deal – Honda! Sympathetic 'ahhs' now please! A Honda!!! Now there is one particular car everyone loves in Wisteria Lane and it’s a Honda Odyssey. They all have them. Thankfully I didn’t know that and selected a Honda Pilot. I find it hard enough to find that on a car park and there are less of them! It is like a glorified mini bus with mostly just one of the eight seats occupied at any time. It guzzles the (cheap) fuel (sorry gas) and I feel like an environmental terrorist. In car parks it’s no longer a case of ‘Hey, that’s my car’ more a case of ‘Hey! Where the f**k is my car?’


  1. YOu and your lovely cars. Do you remember wanting a pink porche, you would soon see that in a car park and you would be able to say "thats my car. Guzzle up your cheap fuel for it certainly is'nt cheap here,So glad baby won that particular argument.

  2. Loud rock music whilst driving the Pacific highway. Its a great way to pass the time!

  3. So will that be a pink, brand new 2 seater Merc when you return to the UK?

  4. Rock would be good but maybe Route 1 needs something more bluesy! Any suggestions?

    Jase - What I drive seems less important to me than where I drive it! But I wouldn't say no to an SLK! Maybe not pink though!!! I'd have to get a job if I want one of those!

  5. Anything by Joe Bonamassa should do nicely

  6. Perfect....I was going to say that in my comment but thought I should throw it open to suggestion! ...With a bit of Temple of the Dog...