Tuesday, March 15, 2011

An Oscar Winning Performance?

One day when I felt particularly lonely, vulnerable and homesick I did something that really went against the grain. I can hear your minds whirring, wondering what extremity would be against the grain for me…I confess, I am open to all manner of things but you may have picked up that I am adverse to feeling like a stranger. I am a classic introverted extrovert. On occasion, the shyer I feel, the louder I become. At other times I will cocoon myself in silence in the center of the loudest and liveliest parties. I never dance but have been known to dance on a podium in a Mallorcan night club. I have spoken at regional and national conferences to 200+ strangers, yet to pick up the phone to call someone I vaguely know is incredibly difficult for me. I don’t even like phoning the Chinese takeaway! I did nothing with the phone numbers friendly people gave me when I first arrived here. I guess I don’t do casual very well. So feeling friendless I did something extreme, I went on http://www.meetup.com/. Desperation! They have a local ‘BRITISH EXPATS’ group. Membership is simple. You have to be British, married to someone British or have spent significant time in Ireland or Britain. I felt I qualified on all counts. There were 141 members. I became member 142. They arrange meet ups – so that ex-pats can gather and discuss all things ex-pat. Maybe they play darts. Maybe they are posher. Maybe they play cricket or bridge. I don’t know. I have never attended any meeting and feel I never will. I don’t do strangers (…actually that isn’t entirely true but it was a long time ago!) Perhaps I should. I wish I could. I might add 141 followers to my blog readership!
Today I discovered an advantage of being a member of such a prestigious group!  I was forwarded this email from the British Expats:

My name is Chad Hillman and I am a Casting Director here in Hollywood, CA. World of Wonder Productions and a major cable network is casting for native Brits who have settled and opened a business in America for a new television show.  Ideally, the show is looking for a larger-than-life British family that operates a business together as well as a British expert.  This family or expert may end up with their own docu-series about their life and the challenges they face running their own business in America. We are in the process of casting and would like your help in getting the word out to your readers.  Any mention on your site would be greatly appreciated. If you need any additional information or would like for me to email you a flyer please do not hesitate to call. Anyone interested can also contact me at the information below. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Somebody wants a Brit! My opportunity to take center stage? It does not specify what sort of business it has to be. It doesn’t say the business has to be successful. I take my blog seriously. I do! I could consider it a fledgling business (yet to result in any financial residue). I wonder what Hollywood would make of my blog. It and me have some desirable ingredients for the show. I am a Brit. I mean business. I am increasingly becoming larger than life with my ever expanding muffin top (actually growth seems to have plateaued with possibly a small amount of shrinkage). I am clear on the challenges a Brit faces living in North Carolina. I don’t know what a ‘British expert’ is. If it is someone who knows all about Britain: history; geography; social; political; literary; arts then I am pretty good at Trivial Pursuits and I was able to answer all the questions correctly at Christmas on the 'Mad dogs and English men’ quiz. I know what it means to be a Brit abroad. I've starred in school plays and Teacher TV. I can do drama. As an added bonus I am from the same city as Ozzy Osbourne and I swear like a trouper! I am your leading lady!
There may be a teeny weenie small problem. Generally, the Americans I meet like the British (on a surface level at least). What Americans shouldn't really know, or find out about in a reality TV show, is what we Brits discuss about America when we are together. The nature of my current blogging business is to examine this strange place with my British perspective and thoroughly take the piss with the never ending supply of content I am provided with! Not sure that is the content they are looking for, for an Oscar winning performance!

Just one final thought... do I email this to Chad?!


  1. Wow nows the time to become famous, just think you would perhaps be able to show everyone your party piece. ON seeing that no one would ever think you were shy.

  2. I loved it...

    CHAD From Hollywood