Saturday, April 30, 2011

Critters on Shitters

If my son was a gangster he’d be called ‘Mickey Two Ticks’. I have seen sheep ticks in the UK – big fat white things that bury their heads into animals and turn into big fat red things when they are full. Disgusting. My cat had a tick on her ear once and when I pulled it out with tweezers and dropped it, it crawled away – almost full to exploding, like Mr Creosote!
Ticks here are very different. My first encounter with a Deer tick was on my son’s neck. It was tiny. I thought it was a scab till I touched it and its legs moved. They are round, flat and reddish brown in colour and look like miniature crabs or squished spiders.  I took him to see my nurse friend who surgically removed it with some Tweezers. I resisted the American way – which would have been to take him to Urgent Care and have him tested for all manner of tick related diseases.
His second tick looked like a third nipple. This time it was hubby’s job to remove it. I have a real aversion to them and besides – it needed brute strength. It was bloody hard to get out. He tugged on the tick with tweezers and my son’s skin was pulled into a peak but the tick held on, waving its little crabby type legs in protest. I've since found out you should twist clock-wise as you pull. Vile!
He was almost ‘Mickey Three Ticks’. I found one on his bedroom floor making a beeline for him. He was adamant that no deer had been in his room so I was unsure how it got there but I have been given a likely explanation at the bus stop the other day. I cannot tell you quite how the conversation started but my neighbour’s cat was in the bushes and she pointed out that that is how they pick up ticks. Having two cats it seemed likely that is how one was in my son’s room – although both cats give him an extremely wide birth so the deer theory is still a possibility.
My neighbour complained that ‘Frontline’ (offering ‘treatment and control of fleas, ticks and chewing lice for cats…) had not stopped her cat getting ticks. It reminded me that I needed to ‘frontline’ my cats. She advised that I check for ticks around my cats’ bums. I was surprised: a) that she said this and b) that she had ever thought of looking there in the first place. She said that the ticks latch on there as it doesn’t have any fur. I asked if she removed them herself but apparently if they have been treated the ticks die and drop off. She offered to check for me (my cats’ bums not mine) but I politely declined. My little ginger pussy is very shy and I didn’t think an examination of bum holes would help! Perturbed by the tick prospect I went home to have a look for my self.
The first cat seemed to be tick free – around her bottom at least. Hard to tell because she is black but her bottom was spotless! The little ginger cat was more difficult to examine- and more difficult to decide. There were small circular attachments around her sphincter. As she has not been treated with front line recently I thought perhaps I should get the tweezers out. On closer inspection, which was difficult as I was holding the cat virtually upside down, I couldn’t tell if the small brownish attachments had legs. There was a considerable possibility they were in fact what an old friend of mine used to call ‘tag nuts’; little nuggets of shite attached to hair on your bum! Tick or cat poo – I wasn’t keen on removing either. I decided to treat her with ‘Frontline’ and hope whatever is attached to her nether –regions will fall off of its own accord. Meanwhile I will make sure my bedroom doors are shut to prevent ‘them’ falling off in my bed.
Oddly enough the cat has given me a very wide birth since the examination and runs away every time she sees me. Perhaps I should have accepted the neighbour’s kind offer to check my cats for critters on their shitters!


  1. No further comments m'lud

  2. New Arsicon:
    (_*0*_) = critters on shitter


  3. It is a wonder she did'nt scratch you when you had your tweeezers on her bits. Nasty horrible things , that is tics and bits.

  4. This will teach me to not try and read your blogs while watching TV!
    In remembering some words and missing other key sections of text I remember the following:
    Jane was -
    Checking a ginger pussy, while upside down, finding clinkers, making sure the bedroom door was shut and thinking about weither I should of got the neighbour to do it!
    Oh well, must read all of it again!

  5. funny! You know me - I try to keep it clean!