Thursday, May 26, 2011

End of an Era! Oprah Talks out of her Arse! (in Southpark!)

I dared to criticise the promised land of Disney in my blog. I said at the time it might earn me a Salmon Rushdie type fatwa for doing so. I have since learned that not all Americans love Disney. It might be a ‘snob’ type thing- some people consider themselves above the magic of Disney. I certainly did (and I spent my childhood in Butlins! – maybe for me it is some sort of inverse snobbery) any way – I digress. Today I am going to do something very dangerous. I am going to ask if anyone cares that the Oprah Winfrey Show finished today. My Mom calls her 'Opera'. Well, she is very Grand. (Oprah, that is). Like everything I make fun of I do so from a position of ignorance and bias. I have never really watched an Oprah Winfrey show but don’t feel I need to in order to comment on it. I don’t like car crash TV and seriously question the value of voyeuristic and exploitative dissection of people’s lives for the advancement of the host/ess. Jeremy Kyle does it to the hapless and bewildered in the UK – people so desperate to appear on TV and have their 15 minutes of fame that they they don’t just wash their linen in public, they dirty it first on live TV! It is like Victorian melodrama where everyone boo’s and hisses at the villain – only set with the modern day underclass!
Oprah, I believe, does exactly the same thing with the rich and famous! Famous people come out of the closet (and get their own chat show as a result) on her show, make a twat of themselves on the couch (Tom Cruise- like no one thought he was a space cadet before he jumped up and down on Oprah’s couch) and ex royalty explain how pissed off they are for not being invited to the royal wedding. Celebs like Oprah. She doesn't ask challenging questions like 'WTF were your daughters wearing on their heads to that wedding and why would you be invited, you old slapper?' Oprah does 'big love' so that stars feel safe telling her, and 60 million viewers their secrets - as long as is secures them self advancement without risk (although Tom Cruise couldn't help himself, he didn't need the self advancement and he is very, very mad). According to some, Oprah secured the Presidency of Barack Obama over Hilliary Clinton by backing him.   She has had 5 presidents on that couch! Eugh!
Such is her influence Oprah featured in the 2011 list of Time 100 – the 100 most influential people in the world according to Time magazine; ‘artists and activists, reformers and researchers, heads of state and captains of industry. Their ideas spark dialogue and dissent and sometimes even revolution’
How does Oprah fit in to that? Because 62 million people sat on their fat arses watching Micheal Jackson claim he suffered from a skin-pigment disorder (but didn’t sleep in an oxygen chamber or own the bones of the Elephant Man) on her show. Tabloid celebrity crap! Important stuff! I don't know about sparking a revolution but I feel moved to Blog! She apparently transformed daytime TV – America’s Chat show Disneyland to Jeremy Kyle’s Butlins! Apparently she ‘has also made extraordinary contributions to our global community through her philanthropic efforts’. This may be true but she does so in her name. Oparah’s Angels, Winfrey's Leadership Academy in south Africa and  the Oprah Winfrey Foundation. Her philanthropy also includes giving the studio audience gifts – she once gave everyone in the audience a car. Perhaps even I would have joined the live studio audience. She is not only one of the most watched TV shows she is one of the richest people on the planet! If I got paid for talking bollocks all day I would be seriously wealthy too! Wait a minute... I do talk bollocks all day... where is the fame and fortune? Thousands of philanthropic people do amazing things on a daily basis and require no publicity or payment in the process. She has turned herself into a brand!
She has made other people rich too. If featured on her show you can expect a boost (with the exception of Tom Cruise). Books are best sellers with her ‘book club’. Good job she is finishing today – I’d be buggered if she started a blog club. One author whom she featured became a best seller. When she found out he may have made some of his story about drug addition up (shock horror - a writer embellished the truth - I'd never do that!) she invited him back on her show and and publicly humiliated him. Bitch! Her show is all about being good – unless you cross her! Bugger, I'm done for! I'll keep an emergency supply of donuts to placate her!  South park must be high on her hit list after they parodied her fall out with the author in a very funny episode where Oprah talks out of her arse ...and other orafices! Actually she talks out of her fanny - US and UK versions!
she has her place in the top 100 people because she provides ‘smart, enlightened, informative content’ (oh yeah!) and has had Celine Dion on the show 27 times. That must tell us something! (someone is desperate). America should be outraged that the Queen of Daytime Chat wields such power (it would be like a tabloid newspaper in the UK deciding who the next Prime minister is going to be...) and question why she is considered deserving of an accolade given to world leaders ...and Justin Beiber.


  1. I too see way past Oprah Winfrey and her "look at me, I help people and save lives including yours!" facade. She does things with strings attached. Look at the whole take everyone down under thing she did. Um, she did NOT pay for that. Australia's tax payers did. DISGUSTING! Oh, and what sealed the deal for me? When she was on TMZ recently. She was asked a bunch of questions by the camera guy. He asked of her favorite things show what would be a good gift for his mom. She mentioned a $100 dollar necklace and was visibly shocked and appalled when he said that was too expensive. Then when he asked her to say a simple "Happy Birthday" to his mom because she was a fan, she got all snippy and rude. She said it, but mockingly. I wanted to jump through the screen and smack her.

    I too am more than glad she is gone. HOwever, there is still a cult following and other things she does. It's scary.

  2. I see I am not alone!
    You are right - it isn't the end of Oprah World Domination - she has left to focus on her cable channel!
    ...just when we thought it was safe to switch on the TV!