Monday, May 23, 2011

Guilty Pleasures!

I had a friend once who was very handsome – the girlies loved him but he was a good catholic boy and never indulged in all that was on offer to him. He really had the catholic guilt going on. He never seemed to feel guilty about flirting with the girls outrageously and then leaving them, without even bothering to love them first, at the end of the night. I like to think that is why he never succumbed to my charms but maybe he just didn’t fancy me!  What I could never really understand was why he didn’t take advantage of the whole confession and forgiveness thing open to all Catholics. Surely a night of hot sex was worth a few Hail Mary’s in the morning? Me? I always find ‘bloody Mary’s’ do the trick!
I am loathed to suggest that without the shackles of religion you might have more fun. I know I am a little critical of the devout, but one thing that I really struggle with is the assumption, by some godly folk, that atheists lack a moral compass. I truly believe your religious beliefs have NO bearing on your goodness or morality!
I was sent a link from LJ (thank you) that shares the findings of a study in Kansas of the correlation between good sex and religion. It confirmed that atheists have better sex lives than religious people, mostly because believers feel guilty afterwards and rated the quality of their sex lives as lower. Mormons feel the most guilty with a score of 8.19 out of 10. I wonder if that is because of the polygamy thing – like committing adultery on your wife with your wife! Catholics scored 6.34 (lower than Baptists) and atheists scored the lowest at 4.71. Catholics didn’t feel that guilty! I guess my catholic friend was just using the catholic thing as an excuse! Maybe I was his fag hag! One commenter on the report obviously felt all righteous about this and said of atheists:
You might find that you are accountable for your life on this planet. There might be hellfire and brimstone for those who jump into bed together just for lust. I reckon Henry VIII Must already be there’
Poor Henry – gets such a bad press – and he was a devout Catholic (that had 6 wives and died of syphilis)! The commenter didn’t read the full report. It said religious people feel guilty about their sexual behaviour ‘but that does not stop them’!!! I think people might feel bad about kinky sex and if you are truely religious and believe God is omni-present then you either have the psychological effects of 3 in a bed or of someone watching!  I think it all depends who you are having sex with (and perhaps where and when! There is a time and a place for everything! – see joke at end) I am again reminded of Monty Python’s Meaning of Life; ‘We’ve had sexual intercourse twice and we’ve got two children’
I tried to research how often Americans thought of God and wanted to compare that to how often they thought about sex. Not a good search if you want to avoid being tagged by federal agents as a potential sect leader. I did find a report that said men think of sex every 52 seconds and women think about it once a day. Remind me again why EVE is criticised. It was all Adam! …unless he was catholic and she was an atheist!

A couple went to mass and took confession. The husband went into the
confessional and said "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."
The father asked him the nature of this - to which he replied "While my wife
was bending over the freezer I had lustful thoughts and had my way with her."
The Priest tried explaining that having sex with your own wife was not a sin
and forgiveness was not needed. Still, the man insisted that he felt guilty.
The priest told him to say three Hail Mary's and be on his way.
Next, the wife went into the confessional and said that while she was leaning
over the freezer her husband had had his way with her. The priest asked her how
long she had been married. She replied it was three years now. The priest
tried to explain to her that it was quite proper for married people to have sex
and that there was nothing to be guilty about. Still, the woman insisted that
she felt guilty so the priest told her to say three Hail Mary's and think no
more about it.
As she turned to leave, the woman asked the priest if her and her husband
would be banned from the church. "Banned from the church?! Whatever gave you
that idea?' the priest queried. "Well," she said, "they banned us from the


  1. Are you on your own again? lol

  2. Ha! How can you tell! lol. I am abandoned once more! I really ought to find better things to do at night! ;p

  3. My own blog wont let me post comments! lol!

  4. Ahhh memories !!!
    Won't let me sign in either!

  5. But did you ever feel guilty, mother?!

  6. Don't tell me you were banned from your supermarket!

  7. No Daughter I did'nt and Sean, I was'nt THAT naughty

  8. Nothing would surprise me with my Mother!