Sunday, May 8, 2011

Once bitten...

I woke this morning with very itchy legs. At first I thought it was the ‘Dark Kiss body lotion’ I had purchased yesterday for a treat, causing some sort of reaction. On closer inspection, and I didn’t have to look that closely – it was glaringly, painfully obvious, it turned out to be 9 mosquito bites, 4 on one ankle and 5 on the other. They were already the size of 50p pieces (for people who do not know how big a 50p is – it is bloody big for a mossie bite). I would like to think they were not quite my first bites of the season but they were certainly a nasty reminder that with the arrival of warm weather there are drawbacks!
I have horrible reactions to them. The bites swell, go really hard and are bright red. Eventually they get a horrible yellow blister head which if I scratch they get even worse. Not scratching is torture. They are soooooo itchy!  Attractive! I’ll be wearing trousers for f**king days! Not having seen the film this may be a little flippant, but my legs are so itchy I am beginning to appreciate the sentiment behind '127 hours'!
Why me? I’m not sure why they bite me and leave everyone else alone. According to an article in the Telegraph, mosquitoes have very sensitive and powerful noses, finely tuned in to the different chemicals that make up human body odour. To the mosquitoes ‘some people’s sweat simply smells better than others
Talk about adding insult to injury! The suggestion here is they bit me because I smell! They like my odour! Well I had put ‘Dark Kiss body lotion’ on, ‘a seductive blend of voluptuous berries, tempting blooms and night musk to unleash your most primal passions’.
It worked. While hubby lay snoring, oblivious to my seductive odours, the mosquitoes were digging their prongy thing in all over the place. They loved it and gave me a few ‘dark kisses’ all of their own. An orgy no less! (Actually though – it is only the females that suck your blood…)
So – prevention is better than cure but have you smelled Mossie spray? I got some off-the-shelf stuff last year that contained 5% DEET. I had been in the states a very short time and been bitten mercilessly when I upgraded to a spray with 98.25% DEET. Takes your breath away! (No really! It can cause seizures!) Apparently mosquitoes intensely dislike the smell of DEET. I’m with them on that one. I can vouch for them that they much prefer the smell of ‘Dark Kiss’.
According to Wiki   (so it must be true) ‘manufacturers advise that DEET products should not be used under clothing or on damaged skin, and that preparations be washed off after they are no longer needed or between applications’. Difficult when you have no idea when the buggers bite! Don’t believe those who say 'between dusk and dawn'. I looked over my shoulder today, in broad day light to find one on there with its prongy thing in my arm! Cheeky F**ker! They love me! I’ll have to spend the whole summer smothered in DEET!
DEET can act as an irritant. Well, so can mossies. It seems to be the lesser of two evils but in 2002 in Canada they barred the sale of DEET products containing more than 30% DEET! Given it can dissolve some plastics, synthetics and varnishes I guess I should be cautious of my 98.25% DEET. I don’t want to dissolve the polish on my pedicure.
I checked the ‘Mosquito activity forecast’ (really – there is one!) for my area and it is ‘moderate’ tonight! That is because the bastards had a frenzy on me last night. They are taking it easy tonight. Sunday night in after a binge weekend! All that passion ignited from the voluptuous berries and blooms and musk! I got the whole sodding set – the shower gel, lotion, hand cream, body spray. I’ll have to wait til winter to use it!
My dad swears that they don’t bite if you use Vaseline Intensive Care lotion. Maybe they just don’t bite him but given it smells much better than DEET it has to be worth a try!


  1. skeeters are nasty fellows. they really like pregnant women. was too sick this last pregnancy to go outside. my only saviour on that end lol.

  2. It's a case of like mother like daughter, they also love me.So it looks like we will be a smelly pair together.

  3. I think I prefer to think of myself as 'perfumed'!

  4. Im ok with the mossies - Its the sand flies that attack me !!!. They dont like deet either. deb.s