Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Show some Modesty and Restraint! For Fuki-Sake!

Many ‘Sub-Divisions’ have community pools - a pool for the housing estate. Our community pool opens on Saturday after being closed for the winter. It will be great if it ever stops raining! The weather has been rubbish for days. When we first arrived in the US last June, we went to the pool for a few days before we got asked to show our passes. We drove home to get them. Upon return we got chucked out for gate crashing the wrong pool. Turns out the pool for our ‘sub-division’ was literally at the end of our back garden and across the road. I had wondered what the green corrugated roofs were that I could see from the patio– the sunshades and the club house! Close enough to walk – which I did for a week or so until I got the mother of all insect bites on my calf. I felt something and flicked my other foot across my leg. The resulting bite grew to be the size of a tennis ball! It takes longer to drive than walk but is worth it!
The pool is lovely – last summer it was virtually empty most of the time. Perhaps the snakes didn’t help! It felt like I was on holiday for months – pool and sunshine. Room service wasn’t up to much though! I had to make my own bed and cook my own food!
At the pool, all the ladies of a certain age wear tankinis or full swimsuits rather than bikinis. I rebelled last week and brought a new bikini – If I am not brave enough to bare my belly at the pool I might wear it to the beach (but my tumkin will be white when the rest of me will be bronzed -if ever it stops raining!) Perhaps I should be more modest! Perhaps I should show some restraint! I found out recently that you can buy ‘modesty swimwear’ that covers you from head to toe so that you can swim whilst preserving your modesty. I’m  not sure if you can preserve something that has long ago departed! It would however be one way to hide my developing bingo wings and I wouldn’t have to worry about a five o’clock shadow on my bikini line. On the downside I might get mistaken for a terrorist!
We were at ‘Dinner club’ and the theme was ‘Japanese’. It may have been too much Fuki-Sake Japanese rice wine but I had one of those mad conversations that lead to me knowing all about ‘Modesty Swimwear’. In answer to the inane ‘So what do you do for a living?’ one of the dinner guests revealed that he was editor for a TV show. Exciting enough and a departure from the norm (which is IT, insurance or baking cup-cakes around here). He was editor for ‘19 and counting’. I tried to look impressed but I had never heard of the show even though the 4th season is about to start on 7th June in the USA. It is a reality show and ‘19’ refers to the number of children that Jim-Bob and Michelle Duggar have. 19! 19 FFS! It may even be twenty by now, I think they have lost count.
I found a blog that is written about them. It said that the Duggars have spent 75,000 hours playing music. I think they have been making sweet music far too often. I think Michelle Duggar must have spent that long pregnant! ‘We’ve had sex 19 times and we’ve got 19 children!’ All the children have names beginning with J – 19 of them and not one buggar – sorry Duggar- has the lovely name of Jane – They are very religious – Jane isn’t in the bible, or maybe it short for Jezebel! I think it is a name that would suit me! On the TV channel website you can play a game ‘Name That Duggar’. I wonder if the parents play it to see how many of the fruit of their loins they can remember!
Now you know me – mostly my blogs are ill informed or I make them up as I go along – and this would be no exception so I don’t want to say too much about the Duggars – someone else already writes a whole blog on them and Mommy Duggar writes her own blog- (not on the things that you really want to ask her…or maybe that is just my morbid curiosity! After having two children some things have never been the same again! …19 ..nnnnnineteen. Show some restraint for fuki-sake!) besides I have never even seen the show. All I will say is that the combination of 19 kids, religion, USA and reality TV means I can safely assume they are weird! If you are wondering how they afford all those Duggars – you can buy the book from their website, at a discount, to find the  answer. You can also buy a whole host of other shite too!
So out of the Fuki-Sake fuelled conversation I found out all about Modesty Swimwear because apparently the Duggars wear it when they go swimming.  So, they do show some restraint! Do I try out the modesty swimwear or do I think Fuki-Sake it, buy an itsy bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini and let it all hang out? After 19 -20 ish kids (including 2 sets of twins) I guess that is one thing Michelle Duggar has no choice about!


  1. Fantastic blog. Had me tittering from start to finish. Modesty swimwear, has anyone seen Nigella Lawson (the chef) in hers , she was pictured on Bondi beach in it.I think she was wearing it as a sun shield not for modesty.

  2. Great blog !! I'm feeling SAD now - I have the upper hand on you Jane for I watched some of the Duggars shows here LOL. Have you seen her hair cut! The one where they go to a museum of life (how life began on earth - the religious way), just creased me and Lewi.


  3. Now I feel like I need to catch up on some episodes. I watch because I cannot believe she had 19 children and her uterus hasn't fallen out yet.

    rofl my verification word for this is tonmatic bahaha how fitting. Michelle "tonmatic" Duggar for how many kids she pops out. she's a machine! (still amazed by her mad respect, but anywho)

  4. I'm sure it has fallen out frequently! The last baby was born at something like 23 weeks - guess baby couldn't hang on in there any longer!